The Secrets of Avatar
by fattefart
Summary: The real reason why Zuko got together with Mai.  The real reason of TyLee's absence.  The real reason of Iroh's depression.  The real reasons of what happened during Aang's three week slumber.  The real reason... behind everything.
1. Contemplation

_Author's Note: _Because of the comments I've read, I've noticed that some people are taking this story seriously. DONT! I made up this story as a joke to my friend on the bus and decided it would be funny if I posted it. So there.

**Contemplation**

The sea was silent and calm. The sun's rays reflected, almost crystal-like, against the slowly lightening waters of the sea. Prince Zuko stood by the mast of the ship, gazing far off where only his thoughts could reach.

Contemplating.

Pondering.

A dark cloud drifted away from the sun's path, and the light shone on his face. His gorgeous, gold eyes narrowed in contemplation. He had much to think about.

His hair was dark and messy, but it suited him just fine. He was so hot, just standing there and pondering about everything that needed to be pondered. His scar twitched in contemplation.

Zuko sighed and took a deep breath, his beautiful eyes almost sad for a moment.

Contemplating.

Pondering.


	2. The Secret Plan

**The Secret Plan**

The room was lit only by a single flickering torch on the wall, which illuminate the feet of the girl hanging by a rope from the ceiling. Below her, Azula and Mai whispered conspiringly, paying no heed to the lifeless body above them.

"You know the plan, right?" Azula asked sharply, glaring at Mai. "If you don't do as I say, you'll just end up like Ty-Lee," she said, gazing up at Ty-Lee's body for a split second before returning her eyes to Mai's own.

Mai nodded. "I know." She exited the room and closed the door, leaving Azula in the half darkness.


	3. The Kiss

**The Kiss**

Zuko is still contemplating, and looks extraordinarily hot as he's doing it. His golden eyes are extremely _gorgeous_ as he stands there pondering… pondering….

Mai suddenly enters through the iron door from her room leading out to the ship's deck. She spots Zuko and makes her way towards him, standing beside him and running her hands along the railing of the ship. Zuko ignores her presence.

She sighs. "I am sooooooo depressed," she croons. "If only someone would hug or French kiss me, and then I would feel soooooooo much better."

Zuko is still unresponsive, his handsome face gazing out into nothing. Mai waits a few seconds, and then-

"Oh Zuko, I thought you'd never ask!" To Zuko's utmost shock, she jumps on him and starts making out with him. He contemplates on what to do for a while.

Then he pushes her away. "I can't do this," he says lightly, before turning his back on her and walking down below deck. "I need to contemplate this." His eyes twitch in contemplation.

The shadows drifted across Mai's eyes and slowly made its way to half her face. Her gold eyes gleamed suddenly. And then she smiled.


	4. Aang's Slumber

**Aang's Slumber**

Katara walked in.

Aang was still half dead.

Katara walked out.


	5. Pondering

**Pondering**

Zuko was lying in his bed, bare-chested and still really hot. His eyes, as every, were open and bright gold. He was silent and contemplating.

He stared, unmoving, at the ceiling. His bed was surrounded by Fire Nation posters, but this only made him contemplate even more. The clock ticked.

Zuko was still pondering.


	6. The Fire Lord

**The Fire Lord**

Faceless Guards numbers 2 and 5 rushed into the Fire Lord's entrance chamber, and both fell to their knees at the sight of his Fireness.

"My Lord," Faceless Guard number 2 said. "I carry news sent directly from the Captain himself."

"Speak."

"Well," said Faceless Guard number 5. "We have received intelligence that the heir to the throne, the banished Prince Zuko, will arrive any day now at the Fire Navy port."

The flames surrounding the Fire Lord hissed and grew, and Faceless Guards numbers 2 and 5 immediately drew back.

"WHAT?" snarled the Fire Lord. "After I banish him, he still has the _nerve _to return? Doesn't he get the point that no one wants him? I don't want him returning to the Fire Nation. My 40 inch flaming pythons won't allow it…."


	7. Chicken Noodle Soup

**Tension is Worrisome**

Sokka spilled the chicken soup into Toph's bowl with "Steve" the ladel. After fishing around for a Matzah ball, they had realized there was only one left and had gotten into quite a fight. The result was Sokka with a broken finger and bloody nose, and Toph with a chipped toenail and a tasty Matzah ball.

However, after the fight they didn't have much to talk about, and sat awkwardly for a few minutes before Toph pushed away her bowl. "I can't eat this from the worry," she said sadly. Sokka gazed at her. "What's wrong?"

Toph shrugged. "I don't know, I have this strange feeling something's happened to Aang." At that moment, Katara walked out of Aang's bedroom, almost in tears. "Aang still hasn't revived," she said worriedly. "I don't think I've made much progress in healing the wound."

Both Sokka and Toph stared at her. "Wound? What wound?"

Katara frowned and shrugged. "I'm not sure… oh wait! Don't you remember, the other day when we were fighting in those crystal caves and then Aang goes into that cool Avatar state and Azula shot him down and basically killed him and I revived him with the water and now we're waiting to see if he's ever going to wake up?"

Sokka was still frowning, but Toph smiled in memory. "Oh yeah!" she cried happily. "Good times, good times…"


	8. Contemplating and Pondering

**Contemplating and Pondering**

Zuko looked really hot when he contemplated. And he seemed to be doing a lot of it recently. But he was still in his room, thinking… contemplating… pondering….

The room was dark now, with not a single light. But Zuko's eyes shone with contemplation. His face was perfect in contemplation, the scar twitching occasionally as he pondered.

Did Mai really love him? He had to contemplate.

What would happen to Uncle? He had to contemplate.

Did he make the right choice? He had to contemplate.

Would Daddy love him? He had to contemplate.

What would he have for dinner? Chicken soup.

He left to go get the Matzah balls first.


	9. The Shocking Discovery of the Prison Cel

**The Shocking Discovery in the Prison Cell**

On the ship, few of its inhabitants knew of the small, grimy cell hidden below decks that held one man, who decided to copy his hot nephew and sit silently, contemplating.

There was no light in the prison cell. The only source of food was a bowl of what appeared to be rat chunk soup, once a day. The place was crawling with all sorts of six legged creatures- not spiders, though, because they have eight legs- and at night it grew so cold his tongue was frozen by the morning.

The man, his hair matted with dirt, grasped the cell bars firmly with both his hands and looked beyond the bars, trying to telepathically send a message… but he did not have those powers. So instead he accepted the fact that he was insane and talked aloud to himself.

"Beware, Prince Zuko," Uncle Iroh whispered. "For Mai once tricked me, too."


End file.
